January 2019 Book Club: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
In the best selling book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz gives four principles to practice in order to create love and happiness in your life.
The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The Four Agreements Discussion Questions
- Which of the four agreements most resonates with you?
- Is there an agreement you didn’t agree with or something said in the book that you disagree with?
- Why do you think the four agreements — even though they are so simple — are hard to follow? We are creatures of attachments — we attach to our ideas, opinions, + perspectives so tightly. These guidelines are about letting go!
- What do you think “personal freedom” means? Living in alignment with your highest self — no judgment, fear, or jealousy.
- Read about the “Dream Of The Planet” — beliefs from society, religion, parents media [pg 2]. Is there a deep rooted belief you have that you don’t want to believe anymore? In addition, we learned to judge — we judge others + ourselves all the time… where do you notice yourself judging? How can you instead extend love?
- “We soon develop a need to hook other people’s attention in order to get the reward… we start pretending to be what we are not, just to please others — we reward ourselves when we are “the good girl.” We punish oursleves when we are not. ++ when we punish ourselves for making a choice that didn’t best serve us, we tend to beat ourselves up about it in our head over + over. How can we overcome this? How can we forgive ourselves + move on?
- “Our biggest fear is just being human.” What does this mean to you?
- Right now — Who are you? What do you feel? What do you believe? How do you believe? Think about yourself 5 years from now… maybe 50 years from now… who do you want to be, how do you want to feel?
- “A sin is anything that you do that goes against yourself.” Self-rejection is the biggest sin you commit — how do you reject yourself? Why?
- “Nothing people do is because of you.” How can you help//support people without too much attachment?
- We assume partners//friends know what we want. We must speak up for our desires. Who in our life do we need to have honest conversations with?
- Always doing your best means being aware of your decisions. There are no “bad” decisions — there are good decisions + learning decisions. You are never stuck if you make decision. Is there something you need to make a decision on or unmake a decision on?
- You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is action. What do you need to take action on? How are you going to do it?
- “You have to stand up + be human. Honor the man or woman that you are. Respect your body, enjoy your body, love your body. Feed, clean + heal your body. Exercise + do what makes your body feel good.” What type of regimen could you implement in your life to improve how you feel and how you treat yourself.